WHEN TO MAKE AN ASK
Pop quiz: You meet a very wealthy person and the two of you click. At your first lunch, feeling that wonderful glow one feels when chemistry is good you pop the question: “Listen,” you say. “My organization is raising money for all the good things we do, and I’m hoping you will support us with a very substantial gift.”
This was:
A. Appropriate because the two of you really seem to like each other—and fundraising is, after all, all about relationships
B. A great idea because, after all, if you don’t ask you don’t get
C. Maybe not such a great idea because you haven’t found out the truly important things about this prospect’s philanthropic interests, hopes, and dreams.
OK, so the answer is obvious (wait—you thought B was a good one?). But often, this seems to be exactly what people do. Just because you have a relationship with someone, it truly doesn’t mean that the person cares at all about your organization or is ready (even if very able) to make a gift.
It’s time to make an ask when you know that you have the right person asking for the right project at the right time for the right amount. That means you really need to know the person in a philanthropic way.
You have to understand what they generally support and why those things are important. They’ve shared that they think your organization does a great job and they are excited to be part of your community. You’ve talked about what they like to support and at what level. In short, you know the answer will be yes—even if the price, the amount of time to pay the gift, the recognition they will get—might still be negotiable.
Being too afraid to ask is definitely the enemy of fundraising, but so is asking too soon. As is confusing the fact that you like each other with that they like what your organization does. The two do not always go hand in hand.
Just as you nurture a friendship or love relationship, you must cultivate a donor. sure, tell them about your organization, but mostly ask them questions and listen deeply to their answers.
Always ask open-ended questions, and don’t jump in just because you, too, feel this way or had that experience. This is about them and give them the room.
Some of the questions may feel hard, or intrusive. Rather than avoid them, embrace them. This may be the time to talk a bit about you. When I’m trying to find out, for example, about who I need to have at the table when I do make an ask, I generally tell my prospect that “in my family, we each make our own smaller annual gifts to organizations that matter to us individually. But when one of us is considering a larger gift, we both have to be involved.” Then I ask: “How does it work in your family?”
As for that great bugaboo—money—it is incredibly important that it gets talked about. Asks that don’t have a number attached are easy to say no to. Once a specific amount is asked, they have to focus on that amount—can I do that? Do I want to? How will that make a difference?
But just any number isn’t ideal. You need to have an idea of what is meaningful to them at this time for this gift. So having conversations about money along the way to your actual ask is critical.
Do get to know them, personally and philanthropically. Know what they care about, what kind of impact they want to make. Understand how they think about money and what they are willing to give.
And when you know all that about your donor, get everyone who is part of the decision together, and make that ask.