When Donors Don’t Know Their Place

Back in the day, the university where I was working, was in the silent phase of a large capital campaign.  One of our lead prospects—perhaps the one with the greatest capacity—was asked for a very substantial gift.  They said yes, with the caveat that they would be involved with the program that their gift would support.

My boss, generally a good fundraiser, said yes.  I guess greed for success overrode his usually sensibilities.

So the donor signed the gift agreement and started interfering with the program.  It was all very annoying for the dean and faculty, but again, the desire for the gift that would be transformative for that program made them all keep their mouths shut.

Then the donor demanded that the dean and the faculty program director be relieved of their duties.  And finally the provost stepped in.

No one, he said, would tell him what to do with his faculty. And he told the donor that in no uncertain terms.  The donor, unsurprisingly, decided to renege on the pledge.  Except there was a signed pledge and that is a legal document.  But do you really sue a donor to get a gift?

Lots of conversations later, the President asked the donor for a meeting.

At that meeting (and yes, I was there, which is how I know what the conversation was), the President first apologized to the donor-for us not being clearer at the start of this journey.

A gift, the President said, is supposed to be something someone gives freely, with no strings attached.  We allowed you to attach strings, and then when you tried to pull those strings in a way we didn’t like, we shut you down.  That was wrong of us.  When you offered your gift—the President said—we should have told you that we couldn’t accept your generosity with the strings you requested.

The conversation was longer and more complex than I’m describing, but it is essentially what the President said to the donor.

Then the President said (words to the effect of) “I don’t want you to have to support a program you don’t feel comfortable with.  And I hope that you still want to support the university and the campaign.  So if you want to move your gift to another area…..”

The donor demurred.  The program was important to him.  He wanted to support it.  But he felt that the dean and the director were not paying enough attention to his concerns.

I see, said the President.  You have concerns about the program?

Well, no. But yes, said the donor.  I am concerned that the dean and the program director aren’t listening to me.

And you feel that what they are doing will be detrimental to our students?  Or to the rest of the faculty?

Silence, then, well, not exactly.

I won’t drag you through this entire conversation.  Suffice it to say that the donor’s ego was bruised; some things he wanted he wasn’t getting, but well yes, the dean and the program manager did explain why.  But, then again, he was the moneybags, and so what he wanted should have been taken into account.

Absolutely.  NOT.

As the provost noted, a gift is something that is given freely with no strings attached.  When a donor wants to attach strings, in most cases the best answer is the one that clearly but kindly says no.  No strings.  This gift should be about your commitment to our organization and our work. And if it is not, perhaps it is not a good fit.